I have had a busy summer! I started it out by completing a session of Birth Boot Camp classes, did training to become an official doula and now I’m preparing to embark on a new adventure:
Moving to Germany!
Although I was happily getting settled into the wonderful birth community here in Spokane, I am thrilled at this chance to travel and support the military families stationed overseas.
One of my main goals in becoming a childbirth educator was to support military families. I had my first only 5 weeks after moving half way across the country to be with my newly enlisted husband. I was away from family for the first time and had no support. This caused a special ache in my heart for moms in positions like I was and a longing to serve them and help them have the best birth experience possible.
What does this mean for Birth Boot Camp in Spokane?
Two fabulous doulas here in Spokane just completed their Birth Boot Camp instructor training workshop and are looking forward to serving Spokane and surrounding areas. Andrea Durham of Two Roads Birth Services and Andrea Winn of First Comes Love Birth Support are fully trained and ready to teach. Their vigorous training requirements, coupled with their doula experience, have prepared them to be the best at what they do – empower women to advocate for themselves, make informed decisions, and go on to have AMAZING births.
If you would like to sign up for Birth Boot Camp classes in Spokane, click here
If you are a military member overseas in Germany and would like to learn more about Birth Boot Camp, click here.
It has been awhile since my last blog post. I have been busy teaching my first full session of Birth Boot Camp in Spokane, WA! I had three amazing couples in this group and I loved getting to know them all and help them plan for the birth of their babies.
Prize Basket
We had a great time together! The dads were fantastically supportive and really made class fun and we laughed a lot. The mothers were busy little researcher bees – they enjoyed all the additional information that was emailed weekly and even took things a step further by sending me links to information they found and were excited to share. All in all, we all grew and learned a lot.
Parting gift for my students
This experience was thrilling for me. I’m so passionate about natural birth and to be able to share my love and knowledge for it to couples that are seeking it out, was the coolest feeling. I feel that Birth Boot Camp certification process and training workshop really prepared me to be a childbirth educator. While I would be nervous before class, as soon as I would start teaching, I felt totally at ease and confident in myself and my teaching style. I also didn’t realize until I was knee-deep in teaching the session how MUCH information we cover. After the last class, I sent my students out the door with full confidence that I gave them all the information they need, and then some, to have an AMAZING birth!
Spring Class 2013 – One Dad couldn’t make the last class so we used his cardboard cut-out. Shared with permission.
I highly encourage any woman that is passionate about natural birth, breastfeeding and supporting couples to look into becoming a Birth Boot Camp instructor. I could not be happier with the program, the teaching material, the student workbooks and the information they contain.
This is my guest blog I put together for Mama Birth. Some of you may not know, Mama Birth has been my blog crush for years and I feel like everything has come full circle now that I’ve had the honor of writing a guest blog for her.
Doula. Kind of a funny word. What does it mean? What is a doula?
Doula is a Greek word meaning servant. A doula is exactly that – she is a servant to both mom and dad during the birth of their baby. Women have been supporting women in labor for centuries and numerous studies are showing that doulas provide great benefits to the labor experience for all involved. Some studies show that having a doula present at birth decreases the length of labor, the use of oxytocin, requests for pain medication and the cesarean rate.
What does a doula do?
Most doulas meet with the expectant mother two or three times during pregnancy to build a relationship of trust and to discuss the mothers’ desires for her birth. Many mothers enjoy having someone to talk to about pregnancy and birth with and bounce questions off of. While doulas do not offer medical advice, they do offer reassurance, encouragement and knowledge about the process of birth.
Doulas are on call from around 37 weeks of pregnancy until the birth. She provides support as early in labor as the mother would like her to until after the birth of the baby. She can comfort mom in a number of ways. She can offer massage, recommend position changes that mother might benefit from, and aide the mother in relaxation through a variety of techniques. She also helps parents advocate for themselves as well as advocate for the mother by helping staff honor the mothers’ unique desires as much as possible. Dads benefit from having a doula present because she will encourage his involvement, help him to support mom and reassure him. Having a doula means that mom will never be left alone when dad needs to use bathroom, get a snack, or call family members with updates. She will always be cheering mom on with support and words of encouragement.
Do doulas replace dad? No! Many women have high hopes that the birth of their baby will be an amazing bonding experience for her and her partner and do not want to share the experience with anyone else. What they don’t realize is that hiring a doula can enhance her and her partners’ interaction throughout the birth. A doula will help dad be relaxed and lead him, by example, on how to touch and speak to a laboring women. Many first time dads want to support and encourage their partner during birth but just don’t know where to begin, what to say, or what to expect. Doula will cheer dad on as he cheers his partner on. In fact fantastic childbirth education like Birth Boot Camp, coupled with an amazing doula, sets parents up to be extremely satisfied with their birth experience and can also prevent an embarrassing birth support story for dad.
Find a local doula here. She will offer a free consultation meeting with you for you to see if she is a good match. Ask her if she has clients that you can contact for reviews on her services. Some questions to ask when interviewing a doula are:
What training and experience have you had?
Why did you want to become a doula?
What is your philosophy on birth?
What are your fees and what do they include?
What services do you provide? (Massage, post-partum support, breastfeeding support).
At what point in my pregnancy do you go on call and do you have a backup doula in case you cannot make it to the birth?
How will you support me during labor? My partner?
Doulas make an excellent addition to your birth team. One phrase said around the birth community is that “Doulas are worth the moola!” And how true it is! So find a great doula that will encourage and support you throughout your pregnancy, labor and birth.
One thing to remember is that a doula does not have your baby for you. Many women hire a doula and assume that they are all set to have a satisfying birth experience. While a doula provides unsurpassed support, it is also important to take a good childbirth education class so that mother and father will be prepared for labor and birth. Doulas love and recommend Birth Boot Camp classes because it ensures their clients will be well informed on all the options in birth, which allows the doula to provide the best support possible because the whole birth team will be well prepared. Birth Boot Camp loves doulas right back! At the end of Class 6, I will be inviting doulas to come and showcase what services they provide and how they can enhance the birth experience.
If you are pregnant, you deserve a doula and your partner does too!
I’m going to tell you a tale about how one dad went from being totally clueless about birth to becoming a perfectly dandy little baby catcher.
This is the story of my baby’s daddy.
Here he is
*Disclaimer (because this isn’t going to be pretty in the beginning) I LOVE my husband. He is awesome and the most supportive, attachment parenting partner I could ever hope for. I really cannot say enough good things about him. He loves me, loves our kids and is a huge natural birth/breastfeeding advocate despite his…..er…. humble beginnings. He has agreed to this post in it’s full disclosure glory because he wants dads to know better and do better than he did the first go around.
I’ll set the stage for birth #1. We were both 19 years young and newly married. John had just joined the Air Force and was attending training down in Texas. I moved down to join him when I was 35 weeks pregnant. So I was a 19 year old kid, in a new town thousands of miles away from the only place I’d ever known, 35 weeks preggo, and knew NO ONE.
I’m not going to go into detail of each birth (because you can read those here if you want) but I am going to do a quick break down of John’s support (or lack thereof) of each birth.
Okay so baby #1:
John knew nothing about birth. I knew everything (not! But I thought I did). After all my mom had 7 kids naturally, some at home. Boy was I stubborn and determined to have a natural birth.
I go into labor and decide at midnight to go up to hospital and get checked. I wake John and tell him it’s time and that I’m going to go get the bags (yeah…). So I have the bags and am dancing through contractions by the front door waiting for him. He never comes. He went back to bed.
From then on, the poor kid has a “Deer-in-the-headlight” look that doesn’t leave for the next 3 years. I remember night time smut TV being on when I was in hard labor and him just staring at the TV, eyes glazed over. He didn’t even realize what was on until I told him to shut the darn thing off. I think he was just trying to tune out what was going on because he had NO idea how to help. Looking back, I really feel bad for him (and me!). He even informed me that I should have brushed my teeth before we left (!). I was in transition and was only being “allowed” (blah! I was so naive!) to suck on ice chips. My mouth was so hot and dry and my breath was horrid – although that was NOT the appropriate time for him to tell me. I stopped pushing at one point because I felt like I was tearing (I was and probably saved myself from a large tear) and he yelled at me “COME ON! I see the head, keep PUSHING!” and not in an encouraging “you can do it!” kind of way. I remember deciding right then and there that I would not look at him for the rest of the time, and I didn’t. When she came out, John panicked because she had “a bunch of white stuff” (vernix) all over her and he thought something was wrong. Once we were moved to a recovery room, he looked over at me really sleepily and said “Hun, can you please hold her? I’m SO tired.” We laugh about that one a lot now. Lucky for him I was on a natural birth high and had so much energy that I didn’t mind, but I did think “you’ve got to be kidding me.” Okay that was #1 – told you it wasn’t pretty. A woman remembers every small detail of her labor and the birth, good or bad and especially little things that upset her. And he didn’t get me flowers. Yes, I held that over him for a few years.
Three years later, we were pregnant with #2; I knew I wanted another natural birth. However, this time I knew that support was a big factor and something I needed/wanted. Because of John’s…..hum…performance at our last birth, I felt compelled to invite my step-mother to our birth. She had 7 natural births and I knew she would be a comfort and support to me. This REALLY hurt John’s feelings. He felt like he was being replaced (which he was) and he didn’t want to be. I really had a get real moment with him. I sat him down and said “This is what I need from you” and laid it all out. He really wanted to prove himself to me. He listened attentively whenever I talked about birth and my desires. He read highlighted portions of “Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth” and then asked a lot of questions. He really educated himself on natural birth and how to help me.
Birth of baby #2: This birth was really challenging. It was VERY intense (and surprise, so is child that it brought into this world). John was right there with me, doing “horse lips” and providing counter pressure. When the nurse stabbed (I say “stabbed” because I hate needles) me to get an I.V. going (I REALLY did need one – but that will be in her birth story) for the 4th time, John stood up and got in front of me and said in a cool, collected voice “Go get someone who knows what the hell they are doing.” MY HERO! A new nurse came in and got it in with the first try. Anyways, John made me laugh a lot during this labor and really kept me focused. He had really wanted to catch the baby but things happened pretty fast causing me to forgot all about it as I was demanding counter pressure. He said he didn’t forget but didn’t say anything because he knew I needed him elsewhere (*sigh* what a doll). While he had skin-to-skin time with her and she pooped on his bare chest and he didn’t even care. He cried after her birth and I asked if it was because she was a girl (he’d hoped for a boy) and he said “No, it’s because she’s so beautiful and perfect.” And I got flowers. He received an “A” on his report card.
Baby D the day we came home from the hospital.
Birth #3 was even better than the 2nd in terms of his support. Not only was he loving me and supporting me with encouraging words and touch, he was also setting up our birth pool and wrangling the kids (and people say men can’t multitask!). He got to catch this baby and said it was “the coolest feeling to be the first one to touch her.” Once she nursed and the cord was cut, he took her for some private skin-to-skin time and rubbed the vernix into her skin (remember the first birth and “that white stuff” he panicked about?). He drained the pool and even encapsulated the placenta for me (Yes. He. Did. I wanted it for a science experiment).
Skin to skin bonding time
So as you can see the difference between birth #1 and birth #3 is remarkable. How did he get from point A to point B? Well part of it was a maturity thing (19?! What were we thinking?!) But MOST of it is an education thing. Dads need to know about birth. They need to know what to expect. They need to be taught how to comfort and support their partners. Dads should know what birth sounds like and learn the different stages of it. Birth Boot Camp classes were designed with dad in mind. The workbook and classes speak a language to men that is unique and they understand. It’s amazing what an informed dad can do for a mom in labor. The classes walk expectant couples through every step, stage, sound and sights of a birth. It even has a whole class entirely devoted to him so that he will be prepared to be the best birth partner possible. Birth Boot Camp really makes it easy for him by breaking down the information on what to expect and what he could to do support mom along the way.
Who knows? Your man may be a dandy little baby catcher in the making too. Join my Birth Boot Camp classes and get dad ready, excited and prepared to be your best support on your baby’s birth day.
Danielle Long 