Are you ready for an Adventure?
Adventure: (noun) an exciting or remarkable experience.
The birth of your baby should be both!
I am a fully certified childbirth instructor bringing Birth Boot Camp to Spokane and surrounding areas. Birth Boot Camp is a 10-week course committed to training couples in natural birth and breastfeeding through fun, accessible, contemporary education.
Begin preparing for your adventure today!
Some people get offended about every little thing:
While it typically takes a lot to make my blood boil, here is one thing that does:
When people ask me if, since we already have three girls, we are going to try for a boy.
I know it sounds trivial and the people who ask are (most of the time) just trying to make conversation. I normally respond with a sweet smile, because I know they don’t mean any harm, but inside I am praying that my girls are not paying attention to the conversation.
Lets jump right in shall we? Here are a few of the one-liners we have heard from friends, family, random mom at the park and strangers in checkout lines (checkout lines are the worst by the way):
“Are you going to try for a boy?”
Our sex life is none of your business. Second of all, as a general rule, I try not to ask people if they are trying for a baby whether they already have children or not. You never know who is struggling with fertility, or who has just suffered a loss. Button up.
“All girls? Sorry man!” (said to my husband)
Sorry for what? We’re not and don’t assume we are. Rude.
“Hopefully the next one will be a boy.”
Who says there will be a “next” one or that we want a boy?
“You HAVE to have a boy.”
No, I do not have to.
“Maybe your next one will be a boy.”
Maybe you should stick your foot in your mouth. Are you implying that we need to keep producing offspring until one comes out with a penis?
“Better luck next time.” (upon the birth of a daughter)
So I’m “unlucky” because I had a girl again? I’m not a queen who is required to produce an hire to the throne. No one is going to chop my head off.
“You NEED to have a boy.”
Um, no. I don’t feel like I NEED a boy. I’m rather satisfied with my family and I’m offended that you think my life is lacking because I only have girls.
“They NEED a baby brother.”
They NEED you to stop implying that boys are better.
“Are these girls all yours? That will suck when they are teenagers.”
I’d rather not try to teach a hormonal teenage boy to respect women when every magazine cover out there and the world is teaching them otherwise thank-you-very-much.
AND I’m hoping we will be the same shoe size then. Share and share alike 😉
“Are you hoping this one will be a boy?” (during my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies)
I am hoping this one will be healthy. This was a hard question for me during my 2nd pregnancy as we had lost a baby earlier that year. My only thought was “please let me keep this baby” not “I really hope this baby is a boy.”
“Well if the next one isn’t a boy, you can adopt one.”
Nauseating. If I adopt, it will be about giving a child a loving home regardless of their gender because adoption is about the CHILD, not me.
Now you may feel like this is a bit ranty for me. But get this – ALL those comments have been made with my daughters present. I home-school my girls, they are with my ALL the time. They HEAR random strangers say these things. It implies that their parents are in someway, somehow, disappointed that they weren’t boys. Or that we should be.
How do you think that makes them feel?
When I was about 10 years old, I discovered a journal of my mothers from the year of my birth. Naturally I flipped to my birthday. I read about how upset she was that I was a girl. My dad got her flowers and bought me a little brown stuffed horse. She wrote that she threw the horse at him because she was so upset. Do you have any idea what that did to my tender little heart? It wasn’t really a surprise to me because it was something she talked about – how she was sure I’d be a boy because my heart rate was always low. But to see her handwriting confirm that I was not what she had wanted, it broke my heart. I remember my tears falling onto her journey and then trying to wipe them off without smudging the paper so she wouldn’t know someone had read it. This is why I have never prayed for a certain sex whenever I was pregnant. This is why I don’t drool and fawn over baby boys and declare how much I’d like to have one in front of my girls.
Would I like to have a boy? Sure. But I don’t prefer one to a girl. In fact, at this point, a girl would be a better fit. I could put two to a room and still have a guest room. I still have boxes and boxes of girls clothes- that is really how my mind works.
Would my husband like a boy? Yes.
Does he have a hole in his life that can only be filled by a son? Nope.
He is a mentor of men in his career field, he volunteers with youth, he has ample opportunity to be a positive role model for boys. He doesn’t need a son to do that. He also doesn’t need a son to take hunting, fishing, or play ball with. He can and does do that with our daughters.
Do the girls want a brother? Actually, no. They don’t really mention it. I do know my youngest DOES NOT want a brother. My middle one just loves babies – LOVES babies. She wouldn’t care one way or the other. My oldest is only focused on becoming a zoologist. I don’t think she has room in her brain for anything outside of animals.
I have heard a few different moms say that their daughters are praying for a baby brother. I can’t help but wonder if they started do that one their own, from a desire in their little hearts to have a baby brother, or if they had prompting from parents? I do not think it’s wrong to pray for something you desire, I’m not saying that. What I am saying is that the message to little girls could potentially be that mom and dad need something else – something that they are not – to make them happy. The 10 year old girl in me says proceed with caution if you want to make prayer for a boy a family event and remember to communicate with them about how wonderful girls ARE.
I want to protect my girls from ever feeling less-then because of their gender. And that message is everywhere. In line at the grocery store the other day a group of young men were talking about a roommate that they were having trouble with. One guy said: “He needs to stop being a little girl about it.” To which the other guy replied “Yeah, he is such a little ______” (Insert derogatory term for female)
I was livid. My girls looked confused. Of course the sexist pigs guys looked dumbfounded when I piped up and asked “What exactly is wrong with little girls?” and pointedly looked at mine. Don’t roll your eyes at me like I am the crazy feminist mom in the store young man. No sir. I just expect you to respect my daughters and their tender hearts and not imply that they are something worth insulting.
The other interesting thing to me is I rarely (if ever) have seen a family with multiple boys be told “you NEED to have a girl” or something similar. Instead I have seen Dad gets slapped on the back “Good on ya, Dad! Good work. Look at those strapping lads!” as Dad gets elbowed in the ribs. Now maybe that is because I don’t have multiple boys, but I do know my husband has never once been cheered for having multiple girls. And I haven’t either And I think that is unfortunate. 😦
A dad from my Birth Boot Camp class shares his thoughts:
“I am always blown away when people would say to me after finding out that we had a boy…”Oh I bet you are real happy its a boy.” My wife also experienced it, but they always said “I bet your husband is excited that it is a boy.”
Do they think that I would be less excited about a girl!?! That has always confused me. This is the 21st Century, it’s not like I have have land and title that will be forfeit without a man-child or that I have to fork over my whole heard of sheep to convince a man to take my daughter or she will just stay around and be a finical burden. We are so happy to have a baby and gender was pretty irrelevant.”
I concur good sir.
So if this didn’t answer the question:
No, we are not trying for a boy.
Our little girls are a blessing. We do not feel like we missed out. We feel truly honored to Sheppard their tender hearts as we focus on raising them to be independent, strong, kind, gentle, thoughtful and proud of who they are.
Cupcake Photo credit: kristin_a (Meringue Bake Shop) / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0)
Holly and I met when our husbands were stationed in England. I had one daughter and was anxiously wanting another baby, and she was a brand new bride. We hit it off right away and have been friends ever since. This the birth story of her third baby and first daughter. It is her first birth center birth after two home births. Baby Jordan is very special because she is named after her uncle who passed away around the time she was conceived. Her big brothers are pretty happy to have a sweet little sister. And I’m very glad Holly wanted to share her birth story with you.
Jordan’s Birth
I started my day by going to the blueberry festival and spending a long time walking around in the hot humid Texas weather. I thought that by arriving at 7:30 AM we would escape the heat but no such luck. I had a very busy day. Thankfully Justin came home early. We were able to relax for a little bit while the boys were napping. At 5:00 pm my water started to break. I didn’t believe it at first because unlike my water breaking with my other two births which were fast obvious gushes, this one trickled out slowly over a few minutes. Since we knew I was already dilated to 5 cm, we got everything ready and had Justin’s parents come over and get the boys, which allowed us to leave quickly after that for the birth center. We stopped and picked up my sister, Hannah and called Justin’s sister, Sara to meet us there.
When we arrived at the birthing center at nearly 7:00 pm, I was already dilated to a 6 and was over 80% effaced. I started walking around and getting into good squatting positions during contractions. My energy was quickly dwindling. I had not eaten supper and only had a light lunch plus all the activity left me about ready to pass out. Hannah and Sara ran over to Jason’s Deli and got us all supper. I am so thankful that I was able to eat a full meal which would not have been allowed in a hospital setting. This gave me the energy to do what I needed to do. My midwife suggested that I lay down on my left side in a very specific position that they helped me get into. This would allow me to rest without slowing things down. The room was very cozy and the recessed dimmed lighting made for a very soothing atmosphere. I laid on my heating pad and shoveled down my food very quickly.
After a little while my midwife checked me and I was a 7 and 100% effaced. The contractions were consistently getting longer and stronger. I was in my own little birthing world at this point. I remember my sister timing contractions and everyone doing what they could to make me more comfortable and help me along. The best relief from the pain of each contraction was to have Justin push the top of my hips together. My midwives both said that this would also help open things up. I went into the bathroom and stayed there by myself to use the bathroom and deal with the strong contractions. The contractions were getting to be unbearable. I tried to get up and get out of the bathroom a couple of times but each contraction was so strong and close together that I found it to be less painful to stay put. I thought the intensity at this point was a little discouraging since I was only a 7 the last time I was checked. I found myself doing that labor grunting noise that is supposed to be good at helping the contraction do it’s thing, while I sat in the bathroom.
I realized I was at the point where I wanted to get into the birthing tub, so my sister-in-law asked my midwives to get the tub prepared. Once the midwives got it all set up, Justin helped me into the tub. The heat from the water brought immediate relief. When I was checked again, I was at 9cm. This was a little less than an hour from the last time she had checked me. My sister continued to time contractions while my sister-in-law kept family up to date on my progress. Justin was awesome! He was there doing everything I asked the whole time to try to relive any pain I was in. At this point he was spraying my back with hot water and then continued to push my hips together as the contractions grew stronger.
I started feeling a little hopeless and nauseated. The contractions became more than I thought I could handle and I grew more nauseated. My sister got a plastic bed pan and held it close to me. I told them “I can’t wait to throw up!” When I was in labor with both of my boys throwing up almost completely took the pain away from the particular contraction and also was a sign of being in transition. I threw up and as I had hoped, it took the pain away the entire time I was throwing up. The contractions after that grew stronger. I was so exhausted at this point I just laid my head on the side of the tub and tried to relax while I made that deep birthing moaning noise. I finally couldn’t take the pain anymore and remembered that pushing made the pain go away. I started pushing even though I didn’t feel an urge to push. It was more like I just needed to because it felt good to do that. I didn’t think I was doing anything more productive than just relieving pain until I felt baby Jordan’s head coming down a little more during each contraction.
I was advised to turn around and lay my back against the back of the tub when I felt her crowning. I thought this wouldn’t be a problem. I did it with my 2nd son and was able to control things well enough to get into a good position. Well 8 or 9 minutes from when I started pushing I had my last contraction and I couldn’t stop her. She started crowning and I pushed her head out right away. I warned my midwife that I couldn’t stop pushing and she literally held “me” together so I wouldn’t tear. I didn’t even know that could be done. I was very worried about tearing since I tore so badly with my first. Her head was delivered and they told me to keep pushing. That is odd since with both boys I was allowed to wait until the next contraction to push out the rest. I pushed as hard as I could while Justin and the midwife helped wiggle her out.
Jordan was born at 10:30 pm, 5 and a half hours after my water broke. They pulled her out of the water immediately and I didn’t hear her crying. I was in tears from exhaustion and relief but I felt worried because she wasn’t crying. They kept saying “she is here she’s here”. In my head I’m thinking “then why isn’t she crying?” Her cord was wrapped around her neck three times. Justin (who is a firefighter) immediately removed the cord from her neck and started suctioning everything out of her mouth. The midwives flipped her over and started rubbing the back of her tiny little body and within a few seconds of the suctioning and rubbing, she was crying. They laid me back in the tub let me hold my sweet little girl. She was so sweet and tiny. She came out very clean in compared with my other two. I just held her for awhile, while the midwife helped me deliver the placenta. When that was over Justin cut the cord and I was helped out of the tub and moved to the bed. I had not torn a single bit, thanks to my midwife. I was so relieved.
Justin held little Jordan while I was being examined. He was cuddling her and whispering sweet things to her. He promised he would always protect her. She was trying very hard to nurse so Justin brought her to me and she immediately latched on and nursed like a pro. She was very alert and looked at everyone. She followed people with her eyes. This is fairly normal for babies after an un-medicated birth. She wasn’t groggy at all.
I was so happy that everything turned out so well. There is an extreme feeling of accomplishment after having a natural birth. It is hard to describe. Many say they feel like they can do anything. I felt like I could take a nap…for a week. Aside from my exhaustion, I did feel a bit euphoric. Like a bit of a superwoman…who needed to sleep.
Jordan weighed in at 7 pounds 5 ounces. She was my largest baby. She is healthy and just beautiful. I am thankful God gave us this beautiful little Angel. She is just perfect. My pregnancy with Jordan was an unexpected blessing in a time of agonizing sorrow. I feel like she is meant to bring comfort and joy to our family.
If my girls would have been boys, they would have been circumcised.
Whoa!!!! DON’T LEAVE! Read to the end.
This is my personal journey on learning about infant circumcision:
When I had my first at 19, I didn’t think about circumcision much (read “at all”). I didn’t know it was something I should research. I thought everyone did it so that’s what I would do too. I also thought it was something I was supposed to do due to religious beliefs.
When I was pregnant with my 2nd I read a book about gentle birth choices. It had a chapter on circumcision and it called it “genital mutilation” and was very against it. Honestly, the term “genital mutilation” really turned me off. I mentally shut down and didn’t take anything said in that chapter seriously because I thought the wording was extreme. (I also had a feeling I was having another girl so didn’t concern myself with looking for research some where else).
During my third pregnancy, I followed several different blogs and facebook pages supporting natural birth. Whenever the topic of circumcision came up, it was hard to sort out opinions from facts whenever circumcision came up. I found people were either 100% for it (saying “I did it and my son is fine!”) or 100% against it.
Towards the end of my pregnancy my midwife asked me “If you have a boy, are you planning to circumcise him?” I looked at my husband, and then her, and said: “Yes. I mean, why wouldn’t we?”
I didn’t say it as a statement – I said it as a question. I was wanting an answer. I think she read by my husband’s body language that the topic wasn’t open for discussion, and she didn’t say anything. (I was open for it, he *might* not have been at the time).
As I was working on my certification to become a childbirth educator, I was forced to sit down and research it. I had to dig around and sort through all kinds of information floating around the web. I found and read studies and statistics. Honestly, it became pretty interesting for me.
Luckily, since that time a Birth Boot Camp instructor compiled all the research and put it into this article. This is the BEST article out there on the web (in my opinion) that takes a non-confrontational look at all the research/studies out there about the pros and cons of circumcision, how it is performed, and anything related to the topic.
I’m going to focus this blog post on facts that I found extremely interesting and helpful. These are things I wish someone would have told me. You should read the article above and make discoveries for yourself because you can never have enough information when making decisions for your children.
These are my favorite facts:
The foreskin (that is removed during circumcision) has many cool and beneficial functions:
It is a built in, self-cleansing system of the penis because the foreskin produces smegma – which is made up of skin oils, moisture and exfoliated skin cells. This combination is anti-bacterial and anti-viral and keeps the penis clean in the same way that the presence of smegma (the sometimes white and creamy substance found around the clitoris and labia) keeps the vagina clean and bacteria free.
The foreskin has about 20,000 nerve endings in it making it the most sensitive part of the penis. It makes up about half of the penis’s skin when left intact. An adult man’s foreskin is about 12-15 square inches of skin. Here are some comparison photos (obviously contains nudity)
MOST of the men in the world are intact (not circumcised). America’s circumcision rates are dropping as more and more parents have access to research about circumcision.
It is not medically necessary and is classified as a “cosmetic surgery” There are no medical associations that recommend routine circumcision in America or around the world.
It is the ONLY cosmetic surgery being routinely performed without medical consent of the person undergoing it.
The common numbing agent used to numb the penis during the procedure says on the package insert says it is not to be used on the genitals of children.
Foreskins are for sale! Many parents are unaware that hospitals turn around and sell their son’s foreskin to cosmetic companies to be used in products such as wrinkle creams. It is made up of wonderful, healthy tissues and highly sought after. (This was my “ah ha!” moment – if it’s so great, why don’t we let our sons keep it?)
It’s a money making market – everything from the costs of the surgery, the tools and medical equipment needed (like this circumcision board and restraints), and the selling of the foreskin means that someone, somewhere is making money off a child’s foreskin.
My religion didn’t require, or even promote, circumcision – which I originally thought it had and it turns out, I was dead wrong.
(Sidenote- I will be doing a post about religious circumcision in the future. In the meantime please check out this handy little tool for an overview of what YOUR religion says about circumcision if that is your main consideration of the procedure.)
The history of circumcision was also fascinating to me. Everything about it. Would you believe that one big reason we are still circumcising in America is because John Harvey Kellogg, the man who invented Kellogg’s Corn Flakes recommended the practice to help prevent adolescents from masturbating?
Female circumcision (the removal of the clitoris in girls) is illegal in America but still performed in many countries. Many European countries are working to ban infant male circumcision in addition to female circumcision.
Some of the risks and complications of the procedure include:
Again – this article goes over all these risks in detail and how often complications occur – please check it out.
There are studies siting possible benefits to circumcision such as:
Reduction in urinary tract infections by less than 1%:
Boys are less likely to develop a urinary tract infection as their female counter parts are and little girls are simply given an antibiotic. Additionally, this study found that for every ONE UTI prevented by circumcision, TWO boys would experience complications from the procedure. Another thing to consider is that many care providers are not trained on proper intact care and forcefully retract the foreskin which can cause problems that weren’t there to begin with.
Reduction in HIV rates:
Studies of men in Africa have suggested a link between circumcision and reduction of HIV infections. However, how the study was conducted is very flawed (discussed in detail in this youtube) and this study finds that circumcision does NOT reduce HIV in U.S. men.
Reduces the rates of penile cancer:
Penile cancer accounts for less than 1% of cancers in men in the United States. The American Cancer Society itself states that the risks and benefits of circumcision should be considered taking into account that penile cancer is “very uncommon in the United States, even among uncircumcised men.”
Prevention of Phimosis:
The foreskin remains tight on the head of the penis during youth to protect the penis. Eventually it retracts on it’s own, however occasionally it does not. This happens less than 2% of the time in adult males. Of the 2%, over 75% of the time all that is needed to treat phimosis is use of a steroid cream.
For further break down of all of these studies, please read this article).
Best Informational Videos on Circumcision:
This one is about 30 minutes long by Ryan McAllister, Ph. D. giving a lecture on circumcision in a human sexuality class at Georgetown University.
Here is another great one:
What I think:
I have many friends who have chosen to leave their sons intact. I also have some friends who have circumcised sons. They are wonderful mothers and I don’t doubt for one single second how much they love their son or think any less of them as mothers.
Why not?
Because I do not know their journey or how they came to that decision. I tend to assume, like me, no one shared factual, evidence based information with them. Maybe their care provider glossed over the risks of the procedure when they inquired about it. Maybe there was family/religious pressure and they didn’t know their options. Perhaps these parents assumed it was a medically necessary procedure like I had when I was pregnant. Or all too often, one parent wanted to and the other one didn’t which resulted in long heated, tear-filled arguments between the parents. Maybe the partner that didn’t want it done waved a white flag and retreated in defeat. I always remind myself that I do not know the particulars of their journey and that it is that – THEIR journey.
But this post is not about them or for them.
This post is for the moms who have never been introduced to this subject. This post is talking about things that are hard to talk about in a non-threatening way.
My girls would have been circumcised if they had been boys because NO ONE spoke up, even when I asked.
A few months ago I found out that almost every male in my family is intact. No one passed the information they had when making that decision on to me during any of my three pregnancies. They probably didn’t think it was their place, or maybe they were worried about offending me. But truthfully, I am offended that no one shared information with me. What if I had a son that suffered a major complications from the surgery? I would have have been angry that no one told me about things that could happen.
When a doctors says “Do you want him circumcised?” a parent will answer most typically with a “Yes” or a “No” That doesn’t really sound like informed consent to me but to a care provider, it is. Why can’t they say “Would you like me to provide you with information about circumcision?” and take the time to fully explore the whole topic.
I want moms to know. I don’t want to walk on egg shells and hide real information because I am afraid I might hurt moms feelings who have had their sons circumcised. I want to help moms that are starting their journey by providing them with evidence based research that will help her make a fully informed decision.
Why aren’t moms talking about it like civilized human beings? Instead moms are fighting about it on facebook. A mom will call it “genital mutilation” and the moms who have a circumcised sons will fire back with a “I did it and my son is fine.” They automatically assume they are being judged and are being called a bad mother. Everyone gets offended and defensive which makes the learning environment not conducive to accepting any new information presented.
All of that needs to STOP.
I have finally decided to stop hiding and avoiding this topic because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. I definitely do not want to hurt the feelings of my friends who have circumcised their sons. I just want to share information in a positive way with moms who are trying to sort through all the research.
At one time, my husband and I were pro circumcision. By “pro circumcision” I mean, we didn’t know enough to have an opinion on it one way or the other. My attitude towards circumcision, after spending a large part of two years researching it and finding out it is not medically necessary, eventually boiled down to this simply idea of gender equality. If my girls would have been boys when they were born, I would have circumcised them. But they were not boys, they were girls, and circumcision is not something I would choose for them so I wont be choosing it for a son. It honestly took me awhile to come to that choice. I wanted to be sure I had all my research and facts right. All it took for my husband to decided was about 10 seconds of this clip. (Graphic by nature of subject) And he adds, the fact that the Spartans were intact. (Super fun fact: Gerard Butler who starred in the movie 300 is intact too)
I am proud to say that we have both decided that if we ever have a son, he will remain the way he came -like a Greek Spartan Warrior. 🙂
(My husband added that last bit of the sentence to my draft and it made me laugh so I decided to keep it in)
I am excited to share this birth story! This is by one of my students. She had induced and medicated births with her first two babies. She was referred to me by a mutual friend because she was wanting to do something different this time. Her last epidural hadn’t worked really well and she felt like if she had been better prepared, the experience would have been better for her. Her and her husband were fun to have in class. They both liked to laugh, but she really took researching her options seriously. They also decided early on to hire a doula as they both felt that having a doula there would leave dad free to focus on loving his wife instead of remembering helpful positions and things of that nature. They interviewed several doulas and found a very experienced one who “fit.”
Mom also had a lot of emotional work and healing to do during this pregnancy and labor because they had lost a baby to an eptopic pregnancy before trying and waiting (for what seemed like forever) for this rainbow baby. (A “rainbow baby” is a special name given to a baby who is born after a loss – after a storm)
This was a VERY rapid labor. I am pretty certain mom was close to transition when she realized she was in labor. Sometimes it’s really hard to stay on top and in control of contractions during precipitous birth such as this – which is one reason I stress practicing relaxation several times a week during pregnancy. I think the whole birth team did a great job of encouraging mom, supporting her, and being able to get her over that hump at transition.
1st Natural Birth in Hospital
Noah had a plan of his own from the very beginning. To preface, he was our little surprise, our miracle! I think I had been in labor for 2-3 weeks prior to actually going into active labor. We would attempt long walks and “homework” throughout the weeks but since I wasn’t being checked at my OB appointments I had no idea what progression I was making.The contractions would start and last a couple of hours and then they would go away. Some would stop me in my tracks, others I could keep doing my daily tasks.
August 24th, D-Day, came and went and still no baby. That following Monday I went into the chiropractor to be adjusted, figuring anything at this point would help. I had an OB appointment on Thursday afternoon; they did an ultrasound to check my fluids and she wanted to check me, to which I found out I was 4-5cm dilated. My OB had really honored my wishes of attempting a natural birth, no checks, etc the whole pregnancy, even if she wasn’t entirely keen with all of our methods.
All that day, well really most of that week, I just hadn’t felt great, I was achy and nauseous. I woke up Friday morning at 2am from sharp stabbing waves of pain. At first I tried to just readjust in bed and get comfortable but that didn’t help. I felt like I had the chills too. After walking around for a bit and taking a hot shower I realized that the contractions weren’t going away. They weren’t necessarily getting stronger but they were definitely getting closer.
I texted our doula Pamala to get her opinion. After timing some of the contractions and sending them to her she agreed that we should go to the hospital. Our plan was to labor more at home but I was afraid that if I was as far along as they said I was at my OB appointment that I might process too quickly and not get the entire antibiotic dose (for group B strep) I needed. I finally woke my husband up around 3am (an hour after I had awoke) and we contacted our neighbor to come over to watch the kids. I had never gone into labor by myself (my previous two kids were induced) so I was nervous and excited.
We got to the hospital around 4am and went into triage on the maternity floor. After about 30 minutes there, a dose of antibiotic and some stronger contractions, we were moved to our L & D room. I made a box of goodies for the nurses; I thought it would help them “agree” to our birth plan. I was surprised; everyone was so great with all of our wishes. We didn’t want any vaccines and I wanted to keep the placenta so I could encapsulate it. We filled out a few forms and that was it.
Things started to pick up. I changed and got on the birthing ball right away. Sitting on it and rocking wasn’t comfortable so up on the bed I went to lay on the ball and rock back and fourth. It felt great but my legs just felt weak and although I had my iPod in with relaxing music, it just wasn’t cutting it. I wished at this point I had actually practiced more relaxation haha. I was hot then cold, I wanted to be touched and then not. Counter pressure made my hips feel like they would explode. My husband was amazing and Pamala sat back and let him comfort me and assisted him in what to do.
After the contractions really ramped up I thought it would be nice to get in the tub. Boy was I wrong! Lying back hurt, my belly couldn’t get completely submerged; trying to go on all fours didn’t work. Basically it threw me off my concentration, if you call it that. The tub was short lived and I think I started to go into transition because once I changed and was back to the bed, I lost my mind. I didn’t want to move, even though Pamala knew it would help progress my labor faster. I just lay on my side and basically yelled.
Both my husband and Pamala tried to console me and I just felt like my hips were going to explode anytime I moved. I think I was afraid at that point too which made it more painful.Things became very real and I knew I was going to finally have this baby. A million emotions went through my mind. I just remember thinking that although I couldn’t verbalize it I knew exactly where I was in labor based on my reactions and what I had read in our Birth Boot Camp class.
Pamala remained so calm and basically offered me two options, since at that point I was in panic mode – I just couldn’t get my brain to send the signal to my body to relax. My two options were: to get checked and if I was an 8 or higher then I was almost there and baby would come soon; if I was any less then maybe I could get something. That poor nurse that came in got an ear full from me; I was yelling at that point that I wanted the drugs, anything, Motrin, something to just dull the pain. I even tried an ice pack on my abdomen. I felt like the contractions I was having were non stop, they just stayed peaking and there was no break.
Pamala finally got in my face to calm me down. I think they were going to give me some oxygen but they couldn’t get it out in time. I had intermittent checks throughout, I think maybe they put the monitors on me twice, I’m not sure. At that point I didn’t want the nurse to do a vaginal exam but she just went right in there and said I had a bulging bag and was at an 8. I closed my eyes and turned over and felt an immediate urge to push. I could hear them setting up but I didn’t want to look.
Pamala and my husband kept telling me just to breathe and wait for the doctor to come. I had the urge to poop and push – and push I did! I must have bore down hard enough because my water broke. Finally 🙂 Must have been all that protein I ate throughout the pregnancy. I looked at my husband and said calmly, “We’re having a baby!”
I felt a lot of relief but then I could feel baby’s head crowning. I pushed again and I think his head came out. I also think they grabbed whatever doctor was out in the hallway because this baby wasn’t waiting for my OB to come and I wasn’t either.
One more strong push and baby was out. 7:40am. My husband announced the sex but I didn’t hear him at all. I just felt so much better.
They delayed the cord clamping as much as they could but the doctor thought maybe the cord had a cut in it and was bleeding so they clamped it.
We denied the erythromycin in his eyes, the vitamin K and Hep B shot. After they quickly checked him, since there had been some meconium when my water broke, they put baby immediately on my chest.
It was at that point that I looked and finally realized we had a BOY, Noah Jacob!! I had never done skin to skin with my previous two kids but it was the most amazing feeling! He was so calm and hardly cried at all. He was so alert and after a few minutes he definitely did the breast crawl and immediately latched on. It was amazing!
At that time they delivered my placenta, which was not the best feeling in the world, and finally gave me the Motrin I so desperately desired. I had a 2nd degree tear that they fixed (I tore in the same spot that I had with my previous labors). Once he was finished nursing, they did all of his vitals and got his weight, etc. He was 7lbs 12oz and 21.5 inches long.
I got cleaned up and off we went to our recovery room. I felt great, sore but great! By the next day I showered and was up moving around. We had to spend two nights in the hospital because I hadn’t received my second dose of antibiotic and they wanted to observe Noah. He breastfed great but we didn’t get much sleep while we were there because of all the vital checks and what not throughout the day. It was a nice break for my husband and I, an extended date if you will 🙂
I could not have done it with out my amazing husband, our Birth Boot Camp teacher Dani and our doula Pamala. I was so blessed to have a supportive team. We worked really hard to achieve the pregnancy and labor we so desired, we just wanted to give our little guy the best head start possible and I really feel like we achieved that.
Are you considering becoming a Birth Boot Camp Instructor? Well look no further than this post. I have had a lot of interest in the program from friends and former students, so I decided to compile all of the information and share it on this blog. Hopefully it will be an easy way to communicate my experiences with others who are interested.
So here we go!
Why I chose Birth Boot Camp:
I knew I wanted to help other women prepare for birth through education and support. I definitely felt that becoming a childbirth educator was my calling. Since I had young children I knew it would fit into our lives well and still allow me share my passion with others.
I began looking at a few different programs. Honestly, while each program had certain elements that I loved, they also had some that I just couldn’t get behind 100%. I had taken one with my third, and while I loved the relaxation portion of it, which was the focus of the class, the relaxation stuff alone was not enough preparation to help me handle a non “text-book” labor. I had to tap into knowledge that I had gained from different sources outside of my childbirth class. I felt the class did an unfair job of preparing a mom for the hard (but very rewarding) work of labor.
As I continued my search for the perfect program I found some program’s teacher and student material to be out-dated. I didn’t like that I, as an instructor, would have to do a lot of prep work researching current evidence based research for my class. I have three young children and the thought of spending hours on the internet, making sure I had everything I would need for class night, made me nauseous. I liked that Birth Boot Camp materials stood on their own as they include the most current evidence based research. How do I know this? Because they update the student workbook YEARLY to make sure both instructors and students are getting the best information available.
The student workbook is amazing. It’s a full color workbook – no black and white or pastels pages. Dads are not afraid to get their hands on the materials. The 3 hour breastfeeding DVD that students get is simply fantastic. I watched it after already breastfeeding three babies well into their second year of their lives and I STILL learned new information. Go on – read the reviews!
Also, Birth Boot Camp is the only program that publicly posts their birth statistics for each year. They are able to do this because they have a unique follow up survey that allows them to communicate with students and see what their experience was and gain feedback that is used to help the program better serve future students.
Birth Boot Camp has a whole portion of the workshop dedicated to marketing. They teach you how to market your business and network with other birth professionals in your area. For a very small fee they built my website for me and I, who am not tech savvy at all, am able to do this lovely little blog. This professional photograph was included in my certification:
There more trainings I have gone to since going to my Birth Boot Camp Instructor Training, has made me even more impressed with everything Birth Boot Camp covered. Since doing a doula workshop, I realized what top notch training I received at the Birth Boot Camp Instructor workshop. I did not learn anything useful about business, marketing, or even labor and birth at the doula workshop. Sounds a little harsh but when I consider what I learned going through the Birth Boot Camp Instructor training process and compare it to what I learned at my doula workshop, the Birth Boot Camp workshop and training process was way more in depth, practical and just MORE.
The support doesn’t stop after the workshop. Birth Boot Camp markets YOU, and you market THEM. Some instructors like to blog and we share our ideas and thoughts with each other. Occasionally, I’ll write a really good one and Birth Boot Camp’s facebook page will share it, as do other instructors who enjoyed it. For example, a blog I wrote a few days ago (my friends birth story) was viewed 900 times within two days. We are all a team, working together to make Birth Boot Camp continue to grow.
The fact that it’s online is great too because your students never miss any information. If they cant make it to class because they have a sick kiddo, no problem! You get them a code for the online class they need and they don’t miss any information, you don’t have to reteach or make up a class for them, and they get their full monies worth.That is HUGE for me as my students are mostly made up of military families and they NEED that option of flexibility (and I do too!)
Birth Boot Camp’s president and founder assembled an amazing team of midwives, doulas, massage therapists, lactation consultants, physical therapists, chiropractors – just about any specialty field you can think related to birth. All these experts contributed to the student workbook, teaching material, instructor resources, etc making the program very well rounded.
Plus, how cute are these onesies for your students?!
So that’s a little bit why I picked Birth Boot Camp. If you feel like it’s your match, then read on…..
Requirements and the order in which to proceed:
Have experienced an unmedicated birth – this is my students FAVORITE part about me 🙂 More than once, I have received a phone call, text, or email from a student telling me about her birth and saying that remembering that I had been there and done it gave her SO MUCH confidence during labor. “When it got hard, I told myself: “Dani did it so I can too!” and I did!” is a quote from one of my student’s birth story.
Breastfed for 12 months – (if you haven’t nursed for 12 months yet but are currently enjoying a breastfeeding relationship with a younger baby and plan to continue it, your individual circumstances will be considered. Once you factor in the time you allow yourself to complete the certification requirements, chances are, you will have hit that 12 month mark anyway)
Fill out the instructor application – wait anxiously for a reply (Good thing they responded promptly!)
Once you are accepted and pay your deposit, your certification packet will be emailed to you which includes all the information you need to begin working through your pre-certification work.
You can find that list here.
Here are my tips if I had to do it again:
Realistically, take around 9 months to read all the books on the required reading list if you have little ones. I worked VERY quickly and it took me 6 months to do the reading and then I worked through my study guide. It would have been better to work through my study guide as I was reading.
It is a LOT of reading. Buy a book at a time. Read it. Write down 3-5 things you learned after each book as soon as you finish it. DO NOT read all the books and plan on going back and writing a paper on what you learned. That is what I did and by the time I was done with all 11 books, I had a hard time sorting out which information I learned from what book.
Slow and steady wins the race
The hardest part for me was to find births to attend as I was not a doula at the time. I should have contacted local doulas and asked to shadow a few births. A few women allowed me into their birth space (which I am eternally grateful and it was amazing to be in that space) but in hindsight, it would have been pretty easy to find a doula to shadow and saved me the stress of having to seek pregnant mommies out (by “seek” I mean “stalk”)
My other input is that it might seem like a lot of money upfront for the workshop, the business cards, etc. But I made it all back within a few months of teaching. And just look how beautiful my business cards are!
I love being a birth educator because it is a career that can travel with me. I can set my own hours meaning, I know what day and time I have class and can plan according. I love doula work but being on call and trying to shuffle kids is much more chaotic than my Birth Boot Camp class hours.
Basically, if you feel a passion for helping women have great births and breastfeed but have little kids at home, teaching class is the way to go in my opinion.
Let me know if you have any other questions! I will say that my husband was really great about letting me encouraging me and helping me find time to get the reading done.
Also mention my name (Dani Long) when you do fill out the instructor application (or the name of the instructor with who you have been in contact with if it is someone other than myself). We like to help you through your journey and answer any questions you have along the way. I am always willing to meet up with you, let you look over the student and teaching materials. You will be impressed and so excited to get started on YOUR journey to helping couples learn their options and prepare to have an AMAZING experience.
Danielle Long 